Thinking things through

[Wolfy//June]

Wolfstar sat in the clearing by the gorge, not daring to be close enough to see the water below. The gorge had taken so many great warriors, from Tigerpelt to Batflight. He sighed. Tigerpelt had been Leopardfrost's father. Batflight, one of his closest friends. He had even considered her as a mate, in fact, several time. But now, they were both gone and he was left with the feeling of emptyness.

Then he thought of himself, and the lives he had lost. His first two lives had been lost, taken away by greencough. Another had been due to an infection in a deep wound he had gotten from being attacked by a fox. He had lost one from hypothermia because he fell into the river in leaf-bare. He also lost two from the fire that was close to taking his remaining son's life. And most recently, one life was taken fron him by a jet- striped orange tabby, who he somehow knew, he just didn't know how.

Wolfstar felt a rock form, hard in his stomach. Three more lives left. How would his clan fare when he died? If Sunclan were facing a huge pack of rogues who claim to be a clan known as Moonclan, how would they survive? How long had Wolfstar left to live? He swallowed hard and fought the tears that wanted to force their way out of his eyes. He would miss his clan dearly. How could he ever manage?

[Greenlily//Topaz]

Greenlily was as brave as any of the warriors in SunClan. She was honest and strong, kind and just--everything her mentor had taught her to be. And yet again, she, just like all the other warriors in the Clan, new that the odds of defeating the band of rogues alone would cost lives. Lives SunClan couldn't afford to lose.

Just as she thought this, she approached the gorge and spotted Wolfstar. He was their Clan leader--not to mention Greenlily's own mate. Losing him would be a devastating blow to the Clan. She could tell from his posture that he was just as distraught as she was, and she padded over silently to sit beside him.

Resting her tail on his shoulder, she tried to thing of something to say. Something that would cheer them both up. Instead, she simply settled down beside him, pressing her flank againt his. Staring out across the gorge, she noted how beautiful the sunset was. It filled her with hope, and she smiled a little.

"Even if we fail," she mewed quietly, not exactly to herself but not to Wolfstar precisely either, "There is always a future. And when we die, we shall live forever in the ranks of StarClan."

[Wolfy//June]

Wolfstar felt Greenlily's presence beside him, but didn't acknowledge her. His mouth felt dry and he tried to speak, but no words came out. He felt dread creeping inside him and spreading though his veins. He looked up at the sunset for a moment, and then into Greenlily's eyes. "Will it be enough? I'm not ready to die, to leave my clan." he rasped, looking back down at his paws.

[Greenlily//Topaz]

Greenlily was quiet for a moment, breaking eye-contact and staring out across the cavern before them again. When she finally looked back at Wolfstar, her eyes were thoughtful. "SunClan is not ready to lose you, either. But if it is StarClan's will that you leave us, however, there will be nothing we can do to stop it." She knew that what she'd said was not the least bit comforting, but she felt it prudent to speak the truth. "When it is your time to go, though, you will never be alone. Your Clan, both present and past, will be there with you always."

[Wolfy//June]

"It is not Starclan's will that I die!" Wolfstar meowed fiercely. "Are you telling me that Starclan is willing that mangy rogue to kill me? I-I refuse to believe that!" He looked away, feeling farther away from the Clan than ever. Though Greenlily was right beside him, he felt like she was a lifetime away.

[Greenlily//Topaz]

Greenlily buried her muzzle into the side of Wolfstar's neck, and was grateful when he didn't flinch away immediately. "Wolfstar, whether or not StarClan willed it doesn't matter. Your Clan knows that you will fight to your very last breath, and that gives them hope. Would it really be so bad for you to do down defending the Clan you love? I know that's how I hope to go."

[Wolfy//June]

Wolfstar sighed heavily. He just seemed to lose faith every day. He questioned StarClan more often then before, and more importantly, he questioned himself. He doubted his sanity and no longer had faith in his abilities. "I just don't know Greenlily. I feel as though I am hanging on by a thread, and the thread is about to snap.

[Greenlily//Topaz]

Sympathy bubbled up inside Greenlily, and she wished she could somehow take away Wolfstar's confusion and fear, but she didn't know how. So she made do with simply snuggling closer to his side and licking his ear. "I love you, Wolfstar," she murmured. It wasn't an assurance that everything would be all right, it wasn't a promise that he or the Clan would be safe, but it was the one thing she could tell him that was true.

[Wolfy//June]

Wolfstar looked down at Greenlily, feeling cold and unemotional. "I almost wish that ment something." he rasped, turning away from her again. He knew that he probably hurt her feelings, but he was so confused at the moment, he just didn't know what else to do.

[Greenlily//Topaz]

Greenlily didn't shy away from Wolfstar's cold words. Instead, she just sighed and stared at the sunset again. Her optimism was waning in his gloomy presence, but she couldn't just leave him like this. And so she stayed, saying nothing and watching the western sky. When Wolfstar was ready to talk, he would, and if he never was she was still going to be there for him. She'd lost him once, and wasn't about to lose him again just because he was afraid.