Antebellum Innocence

[Spruceburn]

The lonely road, the one that I should try to walk alone.
I'll be home tonight, take a breath and softly say goodbye.

[/color]

Spruceburn padded through the lush green forest, a soft breeze tugging at his fur. The wind slid across the patch of burned skin on his face, it felt odd but it was soothing. Doveheart had taken off the cob webs that had covered it before and now every cat could see his face... Roseflight had kicked him out of the medicine den, had told him to go get some fresh air instead of sitting in the den all day. He couldn't blame her, it really was a nice day, but that didn't mean he agreed with her. He missed the darkness of the medicine den, how it hid the ragged and burnt skin that had attached itself to his face. Doveheart had told him that she didn't think his face would get any better than how it was now, but he still had to stay in the medicine den a few days so she could make sure it didn't get infected. Spruceburn didn't really see the point, how cared if it got infected? He honestly didn't care if he died. But if he had an excuse to stay in his herb-filled refuge he would take it. For so long he had dreamed of staying the warrior's den, sleeping near the brave heroes that made up the clan and eventually becoming one of those brave heroes, but now he was dreading the day. He had no idea how Featherheart dealt with everyone seeing her face... Plus, he didn't want to be near Birdsong. She hadn't taken his announcement of them not being together lightly, but this wasn't exactly a bad thing. The more she hated Spruceburn, the farther she would stay away from him and eventually find a mate that wasn't ugly and pathetic and would be happy.

[Birdsong]

Birdsong's was certain that her heart was slowly being torn in half--being twisted, ripped in two seperate directions. It had started after Spruceburn had told her that they could never be together, and had continued on since. Every day the pain got worse. She wished she could take back what she'd said, wished she could make it right with him, but she didn't know how. She told Featherheart that she was going to go hunting, but so far she hadn't done more than travelled blindly through the trees, her mind blank. She didn't even look at the mouse that sprinted across her path, she just kept walking, wandering with no set destination. There was nothing more she wanted than to be with Spruceburn, nothing that would make her happier than saying that she was his mate. Her heart was alredy his, but so far he'd done nothing but thrown it back at her. Did he think she wasn't good enough for him? Or maybe he thought he wasn't good enough for her? But that was ridiculous. So he had a scarred face, so what? She loved him for who he was, not how he looked. Birdsong sent a prayer to StarClan, hoping that if he thought that he was the problem that he'd realize that she loved him despite his appearance.

[Spruceburn]

Spruceburn's ears swiveled curiously as something made a noise some where behind him. He opened his mouth slightly, letting the scents of the forest wash over him. He narrowed his eyes as he picked up the sweet scent of Birdsong. How he longed to run to her, to feel the warmth of her soft pelt against his, and just be with her. But that could never happen. The sooner Birdsong learned that the better. He began to walk farther away from the tawny she-cat, dreams from before prodding at his mind like claws. He had dreamed that he and Birdsong had become mates and had a child. Even though it was a dream he remembered swelling with pride... Until the child was born. All their kit was was a charred body of what must have been a cat and as it was born, it had taken Birdsong's life... Spruceburn visibly shivered at the thought. He heard the tawny she-cat behind him, had she heard him? He looked around for a second and then scaled a tree easily. He may have been out of practice, but climbing came naturally to the young tom. He would wait for Birdsong and then he would go back to camp, or maybe head to the other side of the territory... Anything to get away from the she-cat he so longed for worked for him.[/color]

[Birdsong]

Birdsong pulled her thoughts back down to earth. If she'd told Featherheart she was out hunting, she should probably try to actually bring something back. She drew in a deep breath, and her heart leapt when she picked up a faint trace of Spruceburn's scent. Was he out here? She sniffed the air again, and realized with a pang that his scent was fading. Without a second thought she began tracking him, racing through the undergrowth. She lost the trail at the roots of a tree and looked around frantically, her chest constricting with sadness. Had she imagined his scent? Was she going comepletely insane, imagining traces of the tom she loved when he wasn't around? Would she ever get over him? Did she ever really want to?

[Spruceburn]

Spruceburn held his breath as Birdsong sniffed around at the roots of the tree he had climbed up. He didn't want her to hear him, and he didn't want to breathe in her sweet scent that was so tempting again. He glared down at Birdsong, why couldn't she just understand and be happy? Why couldn't she see that he was doing this for her? The young warrior thought for a moment and then took a second to clear his face and eyes of all emotions so he looked blank and cold. He jumped down from the tree and landed behind Birdsong, '' What are you doing here? I don't need you trailing after me like I'm some lost kit. '' he meowed harshly, though he couldn't make himself glare at the beautiful she-cat. '' I'm not an apprentice anymore. I don't need to be supervised by a warrior when I leave camp, even if I'm not... Completely healed. '' There was so much he wanted to say to Birdsong... How much he loved her. How much he hated doing this. How much he wanted to be with her and how nothing else in the world mattered to him except her. But he couldn't say those things, they would only make things worse.

[Birdsong]

Whisking around, Birdsong came face-to-face with Spruceburn. She stared at him blankly, her heart jumping into over time as she listened to him. "I know you're not an apprentice, Spruceburn," she mewed quietly when he'd finished, "and I know you don't need to be watched over. I wasn't trying to impose..." Birdsong could hear her voice continuing on, but she didn't know what she was saying anymore. She could tell by her tone that she was still saying that she understood what he meant, but the words had ceased to have meaning to her, and after a moment she simply stopped the words from continuing. She cast her green eyes to the ground, unable to look at him as she said what she truly wanted him to know. "Ever since you were made an apprentice, I recognized the courage and strength in you. You're smart and funny and brave, even when it's hard to be so. And I've come to love you for it, Spruceburn. I've come to love you. I can understand if you don't feel the same way about me, but I can't change what my hearts feels. I'll always love you, no matter what. You deserve to know that."

[Spruceburn]

I am the martyr and love is to blame
She is the healing and I am the pain
She lives in a daydream where I don't belong
She is the sunlight and the sun is gone

[/color]

Spruceburn listened quietly as Birdsong spoke, turning the burnt part of his face to her so she couldn't see the emotions flickering across his face. '' I'll always love you, no matter what. You deserve to know that. '' the she-cat finished. The young warrior didn't speak for a moment but when he did his voice was no longer cold, '' You don't understand Birdsong, '' he meowed without turning to her, '' I don't deserve that. But you do, and I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy. Even if it hurts at first, this is for the best. '' He swallowed, there was so much more that he wanted to say to the beautiful tawny she-cat... He wanted to say how much he loved her, how much he could take back the stupid things he had said and make everything work out... But Spruceburn knew that he was doing the right thing. The right thing for Birdsong.

[Birdsong]

Birdsong was quiet for a long time. "Best for who?" she mewed softly, lifting her head to look at him. He had his face turned away from her, and so she flicked her tail out and gently caressed it, hoping to coax him to look at her. "Best for who, Spruceburn?" she asked again.

[Spruceburn]

Spruceburn flinched at Birdsong's gentle touch, a bit shocked. Cats didn't like to look at his face, let alone touch it. But the she-cat didn't recoil once she felt the rough and burnt skin, didn't think twice about coming to Spruceburn's aid, about comforting him. He breathed in her sweet scent and savored the feel of her soft fur. Suddenly he recoiled, though he still refused to look at her. He shook his head angrily and then finally looked at her, '' This isn't right Birdsong. This is best for you! '' The young tom couldn't help it, his voice cracked on the last word. His green eye that was not hidden behind the viel of burnt skin sparkled with the emotions he could no longer hide, '' I know you aren't blind Birdsong, can't you see my face? '' he asked her, his voice was soft but strong.

[Birdsong]

Birdsong smiled softly. "Yes, I can see it. But I can also see past it. I love you for who you are Spruceburn, regardless of how you look. Don't you understand that? Just because your face is burnt doesn't make you a lesser cat." She pressed her muzzle to the red, raw side of his face, rasping her tongue over it gently.

[Spruceburn]

Spruceburn finally broke down and rubbed his muzzle against Birdsong's too. If this is what the she-cat wanted and what would make her happy, he would give it to her. '' You'd have to be crazy to love a tom like me, '' he muttered softly, '' but at the moment I really just don't care. '' The two warriors were quiet for a moment, '' Birdsong, I promise to love you until the world collapses. I will never do anything to hurt you again... '' he vowed, not sure if he was making this promise to himself or the tawny she-cat.

[Birdsong]

Birdsong smiled at Spruceburn, knowing he meant what he said. "I'll love you forever, and no amount of facial scarring will ever change that." She twined her tail around his and drank in his scent, finally content.

[Ghostpaw]

(AWWW so fucking cute LOL)