Ember~Rain
Warrior 
Sunclan//Kit
My life is now complete, with you by my side
Posts: 99
|
Post by Ember~Rain on May 16, 2010 14:53:37 GMT -5
Ok, Goldenleaf. I want you to type up a post with 5 sentences about Goldenleaf hunting a vole. Once you do so, I will assess you post and give you another task
|
|
|
|
Post by Goldenleaf on May 16, 2010 15:43:08 GMT -5
Goldenlaef was waiting to find some prey because she was starving.Then all of a sudden a vole came she was excited so that she had found some food.So she waited for the right time to go and pounce on it.Then when she was ready to pounce on it she stepped on a small twig and scared it and so it stopped and she caught it and ate it. And she was happy.
|
|
|
|
Post by Wolfy//June on May 16, 2010 15:58:36 GMT -5
Ok, not bad. Your next task is to post as goldenleaf watching the clouds pass through the sky. 3 sentences minimum.
|
|
|
|
Post by Goldenleaf on May 16, 2010 16:00:39 GMT -5
Goldenlaef was waiting to find some prey because she was starving.Then all of a sudden a vole came she was excited so that she had found some food.So she waited for the right time to go and pounce on it.Then when she was ready to pounce on it she stepped on a small twig and scared it and so it stopped and she caught it and ate it. And she was happy.
|
|
|
|
Post by Goldenleaf on May 16, 2010 16:13:52 GMT -5
Goldenleaf was in the grass and with a blank stair in to the sky she saw three clouds in shapes. One of them was in the shape of a cat. Another one was in the shape of a kitten. So the last one was both of them hunting a vole together.
|
|
|
|
Post by Wolfy//June on May 16, 2010 16:24:34 GMT -5
Ok, I have to be honest. You can ask for more help, but try not to list events. Do it more current.
Example:
Wolfstar crouched in the grass, pollen heavy in the air. A mouse nibbled on the seed in front of him. Slowly, he made his way forward, setting his paws on th eground lightly so that they didn't make a sound. At the last moment, he pounced and killed the mouse.
You've been doing:
Goldenleaf saw the mouse. She was hunting because she was hunting. So, she caught and ate it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Cherryblossom//Cloudkit on May 17, 2010 22:38:17 GMT -5
I know it's not my place to intrude, but I thought I could be helpful ^^
Goldenleaf, when I started RPing earlier this year, something I found really helpful was reading through some of the threads on the site. That way, not only did I learn what had happened and what was currently happening on the site, but also what the general idea of RPing was. So maybe, if you read through a few of the threads, it could help improve your skills. And don't feel bad if you aren't great right away--it comes with time and practice. You're doing fairly well for a beginner (and a young one at that), and I'm sure that you have some real potential!
Keep up the good work x3
~greeny
|
|
|
|
Post by Wolfy//June on May 19, 2010 14:15:22 GMT -5
All admins may help
Ok, next exersice. RP Goldenleaf having a conversation with another cat. it doesn't matter who that cat is. There isnt a specific amount of sentences, but just have enough for a con versation.
EX:
"Hi! How are you?" Goldenleaf meowed.
"I'm fine!" muttered spruceburn short-temperedly
ETC
|
|
